Allen Phantom UK National Championships at Sunderland Yacht Club - Runners and Riders
by Mark Spruce 31 Aug 00:40 NZST
6-8 September 2024
Why we do it: Prizes, glory and adulation (adulation and glory not shown) © Mike Webster
In a week's time the Elite, the Keen and the brilliantly sociable will have arrived at Sunderland for this year's eagerly anticipated National Championships.
Yours truly, meanwhile, is a bit discombobulated and upset, and having a little recovery snifter in the public bar at the Muzzle & Leash next to the adult shop opposite Walthamstow Dogs. During a Zoom meeting with my nationwide team of bookie's snouts, I was informed that the dog track hasn't existed for several years and is now a trendy, modern block of flats?! Along with the Northampton SC Phantom fleet, I am sure they will be a good source of custom for the adult shop but it has shaken me to my core - I've been paying out on bets for dog races right up to last night! I think someone must be having a laugh! All this time I could have been in the Champagne Bar at Glorious Goodwood, especially now the injunction has expired. Disaster!
But I digress - you're all keen to hear who the oracle (me!) thinks will win the Nationals this year and believe me, if I say he's worth a punt then put some money down. Trust me, I'm a bookie!
Before I start, a disclaimer: Any resemblance between this author / Oracle / Bookie and Mark 'Sprucey' Spruce is entirely coincidental and is no reflection on his personal judgement and extreme views in any way. No children or animals were hurt in the making of these predictions apart from a set of dried chicken bones inherited from a grumpy, old Phantom sailor who shall remain nameless.
Anyway, with the legalese out of the way, let us begin.
An interesting competitor list this year and many of the same old (old? yep, you bet!) faces still appear in my top ten list.
The weather will of course suit some and not others and it will be interesting to see who capitalises. Sunderland is new to many. Strong SW winds will be off the city and shifty and even my local snouts can't tell me what direction the onshore strong winds may come from. This keeps the whole competition wide open.
So far, Harry Bridden, last year's impressive winner, has not entered so we will, again, have a new Champion. Hopefully he will show up - an impressive sailor and a true gentleman - if there's wind, he's in my top two.
Rumour has it that one A Couch was also making noises, but nothing seen so far. I think that trying other, less-competitive, international classes has blunted his edge and he may no longer be as fast? He should come just for the social - he enjoyed an evening with us at the Stone Super series event after the international superstars from other classes all retired early with their cocoa and crochet to read sailing tactics books. You see mate - Phantoms are fun- give it a try! Watch this space! Again, he could be top three.
So, where to start? Well, the Northampton posse are always strong and I think this could be their year. Sadly, Magic Mike Webster is unable to sail but I believe may turn up as Titch's Soigneur and whip the rest of us into line ashore and it will be bloody good to see him.
That leaves, in age and importance order, John Titch Wayling, Rob Cook and Richard Nurse and Jamie Morgan.
All four are sailing very fast this year.
What can we say about Titch? A new boat (#1504), new enthusiasm, he's broken up the OK for kindling wood and now has Mike W to give him a leg massage each night. I think this is his year. My snouts say he's going fast in all conditions and for a little feller, he's also been quick and consistent in the breeze. Third at Lee on Solent and second at Burnham, if he gets clean air off the start, I think he could be top five. Otherwise, a dead cert for top ten.
Rob Cook, our hard working, class Chairman has been the nearly-man over the last few years. Sail development work with P&B is now paying dividends, he's sailed and done well in the important events this season and he really wants it. This is his year and his sparkly Chairman's jacket has given him new found confidence! Originally a native of the North East, he'll feel very at home here and has offered Class Members a discounted translation service for a small fee - his sail program has to be paid for somehow! Wai Ai Mon and Pet you can work out yourself - for anything else, just ask Rob. I'd invest some money on him. Top three for sure. With a little luck, I have him going all the way - so, no pressure Rob!
And what about Richard Nurse? New boat (#1500) with masts and sails now sorted and fitter than my butcher's dog! He's faster than I've ever seen him. His sailing has matured, he is starting better with more confidence and has a great, all condition, all-round game. Legendary downwind speed will dig him out of the mucky stuff if needed but I think, this year, he will use it to attack the leaders. Top five for definite, top three if the chicken bones land in a positive way. My midlands snout also says, if he does well, he gets a day off painting C's new house so everything to play for!
I note that a young Jamie Morgan has also been mentioned in dispatches this year? Sailing under the radar apart from the Inlands, my local runner did mention him a couple of times. Jamie, make yourself known to me with an offering (a glass of claret normally does the trick!) and I'll make sure you get better odds and the micky taken out of you forever! What's not to like?
While we're here, I think Northampton will also win the Team/Club prize. (Yawn!)
Talking of teams, the quartet from that place in Wales that no one can say without spitting (Llandegfedd SC!) may well threaten. Although I don't speak the lingo, I think my Welsh snout says their old leader Will Willet is finally injury free and he and Johnny E now have another year of sailing a decent class under their belts. Add to that an even bigger labour majority in the Senedd and they can't wait to get out of the country for a break! At least they can now tow their boats above 20mph so their trip will be worth it just for that!
And, it's from here, that I introduce my dark horse for the top three at Sunderland - you heard it here first!
Remember the name Ben Dancer. The rumour mill says he's stolen Harry Bridden's massive hiking thighs (maybe why Harry's not coming?). Now in a newer boat (#1478) he turned up at a windy Lee on Solent earlier this month and gave everyone a lesson in upwind boat speed and how to keep working after the windward mark to build substantial leads. May need some work on his big fleet starting but he's got the raw pace and boat handling skills to make the top three for sure. The odds are good so get money on him now. Just buy me a glass of red with your winnings!
Let's continue our tour around the UK.
From the south, that perennial man mountain monster Martin Watts from Netley is, I believe, going faster than ever upwind in breeze. 6ft stupid inches tall, young, fit and sharp on his tactics after plenty of recent big boat sailing, he has the right sail to match his stiff mast. A narrow second to Ben Dancer at Lee on Solent, he needs a clear lane off the start line and he'll been gone. If the chicken bones fall the right way for him, he will break up the Northampton posse and if the breeze stays up every day, he is capable of the top spot. But - he will need a front row start in every race.
Also from the south is some geezer called Sprucey. My snouts know little about him so I had to call direct for info straight from the horse's mouth. Another man mountain - just more of a lumpy, round, old Munroe type - he's keen as mustard and determined to break into the top ten where he believes he should be (Arrogant, or what?!). He's more focussed this year, starting well and swimming less and has shown brilliance (his words, not mine) in individual races. He starts well, normally sails good first beats and then hangs on downwind. A new sail has helped his boat speed upwind in a breeze and he's now competitive. Warning - wear earplugs if you are alongside him downwind in marginal planning conditions! He can get a bit verbal damning all the gods!
Another big wind sailor is Jon Rickard from Plymouth. Chilled and relaxed, he knows how to make a Phantom go upwind as fast as his Audi RS in breeze. Alongside Rich Nurse and Martin Watts he keeps his boat flatter than anyone and becomes a distant dot up front - worryingly fast. He's been practising his light and shifty inland sailing too.
And that leads me to another solid man mountain - Slayer (Bill Taylor) from Creeksea on Ditch on the East Coast. As above, fast upwind he also has a good turn of pace downwind and is used to sailing on a tidal, shifty river - he has a great, all round game. He needs to build some consistency but in the three years I have known him, he has improved his Nationals position every year. I have him in my top ten this year - top seven if its windy.
Warning - if anyone asks about Bill - you don't know him, you've not seen him, you've never heard of him and no, he definitely isn't sailing at Sunderland - use the name Till Baylor - (taps side of nose) you know what I mean!
Oi, I hear the Midland massif shouting, "What about us? Those &%*s at Northampton aren't the only sailors here!"
Yep, you're right, particularly if the wind is lighter and shifty off the land. You cannot ignore Adam Frogatt our inland Champion. A little version of Ben Dancer he has a great all-round game, starts well on tight lines and knows how to pick his way up a shifty beat with excellent boat speed. I have him top ten but top five if the wind eases from the recent gales that have hit the UK.
Alongside him is Duncan Adams. Like Adam he's fast and canny in light and shifty conditions but he's a bigger lad too and had a good turn of speed on the windier day at Abersoch last year. Don't be put off by his size in the light - he has speed downwind and sails with the fluidity of a Rock n Roll Singer (Singer. See what I did there? OK, Ill get my coat! Ask Duncan.)
From the west of the Midlands is Jim Hopton. Just like his beautiful JJ dropped floor boat he's always immaculately turned out. His starts will be immaculate too and he will also be very competitive - top 10 for sure if conditions are light and shifty. He may run out of bulk on an open sea course when the wind is over F4.
Another smart sailor who punches well above his diminutive weight is Chris Roberts from Creeksea. He's won more trophies than I've had hot dinners and some of those have even been from sailing rather than carp fishing! Another top ten if conditions don't go over 15knots and he will have his day on a windy race too.
My last hot, top tip comes from a secret source in the Midlands. Wayne Fletcher, another sailor who has seen the light and joined the Phantom class. He won the Northern Super Series this year. Did well (won?) at Bass Week but I think that's another fishing competition? Something about "exceptional inland pedigree" - let's see if the new boy can carry that form to Sunderland.
Don't forget the Smith brothers. Like a mafia crime family, they've taken over from those Men of Kent the Denbys. Their manor links the west midlands and the north. Let Andy sail over you on a marginal planning reach at your peril - you'll only see his transom for the rest of the day.
The old boys prize is also wide open. Titch, Jim Hopton, Chris Roberts and Sprucey are all contenders unless anyone else owns up to being old & grumpy?
Two Woodies this year. Mike Blunt, our Class web master and Alan Husk in his beautifully restored Claridge - an interesting race within a race.
So, there you have it.
You can place bets with a class discount at my website www.spruceysboatskiandbikebankaccount.fun.uk
Any questions? email my solicitor at ripemoffandscarper@spruceysholidayfund.com
If you really want to spend some money then please visit the sponsors who have stepped up to support the Phantom Class and our National Championships.
Allen Brothers: Manufacturers and suppliers of quality performance sailing hardware. We are very proud to have Allen as our headline sponsor this year.
Ovington Boats: Ovington made most of the boats in the competition - they continue to support our class.
Optimum Time: Designers and manufacturers of great sailing and sport watches.
HD Sails: A long time supporter of the Phantom Class
P&B: Another long-term supporter of the Phantom Class
Vaux Brewery & Taproom: Suppliers of great beer to a great class!
Let the games begin!