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Merlin Rocket National Championship sponsored by Aspire at Tenby Sailing Club - Day 3

by Team Anonymous 14 Aug 05:46 NZST 11-16 August 2024

To quote Bruce Willis in Die Hard "Yippee ki-yay!!"

As a household, we have all been looking for a dolphin to interview since arriving on Saturday for the Aspire Merlin Rocket National Championships 2024, unfortunately the dolphins have all, er, disappeared, so the following is our own somewhat chaotic take on proceedings.

The Crews race was scheduled to take place on Day 3. Going into the race, the smart money is undoubtedly on one of the following teams:

In no particular order, and in all probability missing the eventual winner we have the following teams:

  • James & Mark - Reigning youth champion
  • Tom & Maddie - Managing to sail with their other half, 15th at Salcombe
  • Mary & Rupert - Managing to sail with their other half, 21st at Salcombe
  • Ollie & Taxi - Did you know he has also sailed with Tom Gillard?
  • Hayden & Arron - Incredibly quick, but probably DNC
  • Matt & Jon - Can really put the bow down
  • Rick & James - What shall we do with the drunken sailor(s)?
  • Rory & John - "He was good in an oppie aged 9"
  • Chris & Ian - Martin dynasty having a crack at the real prize
  • Megan & Clive - Get sailing back into the Paralympics

Disappointingly, the decision was made early in the day not to sail the crews race today leaving this as a runners and riders edition for the one-race, winner takes all, championships that grants helms the ability to demonstrate they are actually qualified to offer gentle encouragement.

Even more concerningly, with three races scheduled for Wednesday as Thursday and Friday are apparently looking problematic, there are concerns as to whether the most important of races will be run this year. There are rumours of industrial action, the crews' union threatening a lock-in.

Moving back to the side-show that is the Aspire Merlin Rocket National Championships, there were two choices out on the racecourse today: send it, pupils fully dilated, while yelling profanities; or be devoured by a salty sea monster. Some crews, did both.

In the fifth race for the Howard Trophy, it paid to start near the pin, sail very quickly to the right, and ride the biggest, saltiest sea monster you could find downhill.

The best at this were Stu Bithell & Tom Pygall, followed by Christian Birrell & Sam Brearey, and Taxi Davis & Ollie Meadowcroft. Having inverted their ship, presumably to prevent excessive flogging of their sails pre-start, Ben Saxton & Matt Rainback got back on track as normal service was resumed sailing home in their now familiar position of fourth, while Jon Gorringe and Matt Currell rounded out the top five.

Following the conclusion of the race, the PRO decided too many of the fleet had fallen prey to sea monsters as he sent everyone home.

This leaves us to grant our awards of sailing merit for the day.

There were a number of potential recipients for the 'William Warren Award for Misfortune', honourable mentions go to Alex Warren & Jonty Freeman for cheese-wiring their mast and Ed Chapman & Faye Chatterton for snapping their main jellyfish basher, however today this award goes to Tom Stewart and Rob Allen for donating the majority of their rudder blade to join the massive jellyfish as an obstacle on the racecourse.

The 'Didn't Quite Pull That Off Award', for attempting the impossible, and well, not quite pulling it off, goes to Taxi Davis & Ollie Meadowcroft for falling over while trying to gybe inside Stu & Tom to take the lead. This makes it even more impressive that they still made the podium.

The 'Alphabet Award' for not achieving a numeric value on their scorecard goes to Rupert & Mary Henderson-White for being one of the few crews to get letters other than RET or DNC. Incidentally Rupert and Mary are also recipients of the 'Jonty Freeman Award' for being incredibly lovely by exonerating themselves for making contact with a very wobbly mark of the course. In these conditions, frankly very few of their competitors would have given one, as they would likely either have been bellowing in their state of mania, or grimly clinging on for dear life. To reinforce their recipiency of the 'Jonty Freeman Award', Rupert and Mary also managed not to kill one of your anonymous authors while riding one of the almighty sea creatures we have previously mentioned.

The 'Going Undercover Award' for packing up early goes to Ed Chapman. We hope he will be seen in the future with more carbon in his centreboard.

Finally, the '... ---... Award' goes to the Tenby Sailing Club rescue team and shore crew who, frankly, are a credit to humanity.

The innovation that is asking households to author reports after an afternoon of drinking, may not continue.

Signing off, yippee ki-yay!!!

Thanks to our sponsors Aspire Financial Advisers, Allspars, Becky Bettesworth, CF by L and L, GK Engineering and In The Welsh Wind.

Results after Day 3:

PosSail NoHelmCrewClubFoundersBeechersClyde QuaichWest CountryHowardPts
1st3788Christian BirrellSam BreareyParkstone YC21‑3126
2nd3826Stuart BithellTom PygallParkstone YC1‑52317
3rd3824Andy DavisOllie MeadowcroftSouth Staffs SC32‑82310
4th3804Ben SaxtonMatt RainbackRYA(BFD)344415
5th3809Arran HolmanHayden SewellHollowell5‑1215617
6th3719Ian MartinChris MartinBurghfield SC64510‑1525
7th3791Jon GorringeMatt CurrellParkstone YC411‑146526
8th3807Tim SaxtonHolly McArthurItchenor SC10679‑2332
9th3775Chris JenningsPete NicholsonBrightlingsea SC9‑2198834
10th3691Mike CalvertJane CalvertAxe YC871311‑4339
11th3802Simon PottsEmma ClarkeBurghfield SC128‑1914741
12th3782Ed ChapmanFaye ChattertonLymington Town SC149622(DNC)51
13th3793James GoodfellowRick CornesNetley SC11‑3810231054
14th3812Thomas StewartRob AllenWaldringfield SC719237(RET)56
15th3787Chris MartinJohn TailbyBartley SC‑251711161357
16th3696Alexander WarrenJonty FreemanShoreham SC16.516‑20132065.5
17th3757Tim ParsonsAndy ServiceLyme Regis SC(BFD)1512211866
18th3724Ed BradburnSamuel BaileySouth Staffs SC21‑2617181167
19th3666John MeadowcroftRory GiffordUpper Thames SC16.5201817‑2171.5
20th3683Maddy AndersonTom BallantineBrightlingsea SC20‑3122121973
21st3801Matthew BiggsBeka JonesBartley SC13102528(DNC)76
22nd3645Steve HallAlison HallRoyal Corinthian YC222421‑261481
23rd3746James WellsAnna AylwardRYA15251527‑4282
24th3751Rupert Henderson‑WhiteMary Henderson‑WhiteBrightlingsea SC18221629(UFD)85
25th3727Mark StockbridgeJames GiffordUpper Thames SC2423(RET)241687
26th3796William WarrenCharlotte FildesShoreham SC(BFD)1331421298
27th3710Jon IbbotsonRobert StewartBurghfield SC27183025‑38100
28th3733Jamie MorganOliver DavenportNorthampton SC19‑45263036111
29th3756Sophie MackleyGeorge BenderShoreham SC283032‑3722112
30th3814James GossChris WhiteSouth Staffs SC(RET)RET24159114
31st3815Mark BarwellLouise JohnsonLymington Town SC23‑41273431115
32nd3816Phil EmeryPhoebe PaineWhitstable YC35333319‑41120
33rd3770Jon StewardChristian HillFishers Green SC32‑52293624121
34th3731Andy JonesMaddie JonesBurghfield SC302934‑3530123
35th3747Clive EplettMegan PascoeFrensham Pond SC(BFD)28353132126
36th3658Matthew ShorrockBen ShorrockFrensham Pond SC(RET)142820UFD128
37th3779David LeeAngela BridgesStarcross YC31353633(DNC)135
38th3806Ben JonesHelen HilditchShoreham SC3332‑534825138
39th3749Colin AndersonSean AndersonBartley SC36‑53404126143
40th3711Sam ThompsonLeanne ThompsonRNSA3427‑514640147
41st3781David HallEmilie HoodBlackwater SC4234‑464428148
42nd3817Geoff KimberHelen KimberStone SC295142‑5427149
43rd3821Gavin WillisBettine HarrisBristol Corinthian YC(BFD)39473829153
44th3742Howard EelesJosh OatesBartley SC4447‑523233156
45th3766Andrew DalbyAimee DalbyBurghfield SC3844‑454534161
46th3662Nigel HudsonFreya HudsonBartley SC395039‑5335163
47th3790Colin BrockbankSue broughWembley SC3743‑555239171
48th3794Julian HarmsTimothy HarmsMidland SC40463849(DNC)173
49th3547Tim MaleRebecca MaleRYA43554139(DNC)178
50th3813Steve HarlingEleanor ThomasStarcross YC41365451(DNC)182
51st3720David ChisholmAndy PrinceRoyal Burnham YC(BFD)373743DNC183
52nd3825Storm NuttallIsobel StewartSalcombe YC(BFD)49435044186
53rd3776Nick CraigKate CraigBurghfield SC2640(DNC)DNCDNC198
54th3663Nicholas YannakoyorgosMatteo ManciniFishers Green SC(BFD)56495637198
55th3695Peter SlackImmy BrownTrent Valley SC4842AL555(DNC)198
56th3767Ben ArcherOlivia BelliniParkstone YC(BFD)485047DNC211
57th3707Stuart JenkinsHannah BurtHampton Sailing Club46545657(RET)213
58th3786Phil HardistyTeddy DunnIsle of Man YC(DNC)DNCDNCDNC17215
59th3740Pat BlakeJilly BlakeLymington Town SC(DNC)DNC4440DNC216
60th3567Martin SmithKaren BestonRedditch SC47585860(DNC)223
61st3690Guy BrowneGreg MartinTrent Valley SC4557(RET)59DNC227
62nd3582Florence NichollsHarvey GodelAldeburgh YC(BFD)595758RET240
63rd3449Carl WhitehillSam WhitehillRYA4960(DNC)DNCDNC241
64th3528Richard Owens TaffStu SouthanPembrokeshire Powerboating and Sailing A(RET)DNCDNCDNCRET264
64th3800Richard BramleyTony ChealShoreham SC(DNC)DNCDNCDNCDNC264

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