TCL Scorpion National Championship 2024 at Castle Cove Sailing Club - Runners and Riders
by Dave Elston 11 Jul 23:37 NZST
28 July - 2 August 2024
Scorpions at the Weymouth Dinghy Regatta © Tim Hampton /
www.timhampton.uk
For those of you regular readers to the annual made-up nonsense that I come up with you'll be delighted to hear that all my computer files are no longer available due to a ransomware attack in the early part of this year (whoever thought that Russia / N Korea / China would be scared of the Scorpion fleet... other totalitarian regimes are also available for banter purposes). With that in mind I can't just cut-n-paste the previous years waffle and change the date - dammit!
Here goes for the self-indulgent ramblings of a mid-fleet sailor building the expectation for the nest of Scorpions due at Castle Cove Sailing Club for the TCL Scorpion National Championship 2024 in association with Craftinsure. (A collective of Scorpions are also known as a bed according to Dr Google - we'll have no time for sleeping however with the fun filled adventures ahead of us.)
As ever, we'll build this piece talking about the good, the greater and the fantastic things about the nationals - firstly the important bit:
The off water entertainment
Daily - 9pm Daily Prizes, Champagne moment of the day and Pecker awarding (other fleets may have various other daily stupidity prizes but you can't beat a rubber chicken) - every night by order of His Most Peckerness Jerry Hannabus. With a mere 47 Scorpion Nationals under his belt this man has seen it all come and go - feel free to collar him and tell him all about the stupidity and general daftness of your friends in the fleet - SHWAGS are not exempt from being nominated or winning this one.
Saturday - boat arrival and park your car for the week - Castle Cove are going carless to allow space for the nest of Scorpions to have enough room.
Saturday evening - Commodores Reception to meet up with old friends and new.
Sunday Lunchtime - SHWAGS reception / bring and share lunch.
Sunday Evening - Champagne reception in memory of our dear SHWAG Lady Helen to get the juices flowing - followed by a talk from Mr Pete Goss (not of Bros fame but round the world legendary Yachtsman extraordinaire).
Monday Evening- Dinner included in entry fee - Pro Am Drinks (hope I get a teetotal one....)
Tuesday Evening - Food Van night (Fish n chips - please order and pay at the van), AGM and legendary Denchfield quiz - don't forget to read up on your GCSE Physics.
Wednesday - Dinner Included in entry fee - Games night (probably active, possibly dangerous)
Thursday - Fancy Dress for all - Kids from 6.30 then 8pm competing for the Peaches of Pennine Trophy. Theme: Olympics
Friday - Bacon rolls to power up ahead of the journey home, whilst admiring trophies we might have won and politely clapping those that did at prize-giving. Prizes available include old boats (also very old), old sailors (and geriatrics), fast boats, silver and bronze fleets, female helms / crews etc etc - you get the picture
The sailing
9amish (we're in Dorset!) daily coaching with Adam Bowers trying to help us all go even faster.
Practice race - for the biggest trophy on the table starting not before Noon on Sunday 28th.
Ten Championship races over five days (extra day sailing Friday if the weather hasn't been kind to get at least 6 races in).
Crews race - hopefully after racing on the Monday, in the Harbour, off the clubhouse - depends on the conditions.
Introducing your title contenders
Rachel (Real Deal) Gray with professional chauffeur Tom (Gilly) Gillard
A close run thing last year - Gilly will still be frustrated not to win in Eastbourne, Rachel has been sussing out the other chauffeurs when Gilly isnt available due to his extensive sailing diary. - Favourites
Sam (I can professionally fix it foil it pimp it) Barker with Weymouth local legend chauffeur Sam (Trapeze champ) Pascoe
The Sam Squared team have more local knowledge than the fish in the harbour - with a one / two at the Musto Skiffs if a crews race win isn't in the bag I'd be surprised. Second favourites.
Rich (Pepsi) Pepperdine with chauffeur Peter (Mr Sailjuice x2) Gray
The legendary pitch pole of Weymouth champs 2017 still looms large in video moments to savour (Pepsi was still pumping the kite as they went down the mine). Serial almost winners - surely it's time to make it happen. Second favourites.
Simon (the Bear) Forbes with youth chauffeur Ollie (Merlin, N12, if it floats I'll sail it) Meadowcroft
Simon having been deserted by his normal chauffeur for Cadet class duties he's bought in 'the best' of the youngsters. However, any writing required will see Oli avoiding his duties - let's hope he can remember all the shift angles in his head. Third Favourites.
Steve (Sailmaker) Graham with chauffeur Andy (I've won before) McKee
Memories of these two together involve a black eye and a bruised elbow - let's hope for a clean race and no mishaps for Steve to have to get the toolbox out - the rest of the fleet need him helping to improve their boat set ups..... Third Favourites .
Ben (Silver Fox) Rayner with professional chauffeur Dave (Mr P&B) Wade
Always fast by the end of the week - if they've got some practice in before the event could be in the mix. However Dave also gets his fair share of spinnaker pole induced injuries - lets hope Ben is feeling kind....Second / third favourites.
There's lots of other fine sailors amongst the wannabees and the could haves and the oh so nearly made its - Here's some notable folks:
Jerry (47 nationals and counting) Hannabus chauffeured by Nigel (Mr Paintcraft) Potter
Lets hope for no damage for any of us then Nigel can make his own boat go fast - he generally ends up with late nights and early mornings fixing the rest of us - thanks Nige.
Hannah (Dr) Buchanan chauffeured by Ryan (Dr) Buchanan
Single pole with the smallest crew in the fleet - nailed on for a top ten - you don't need two poles!
Rob (I'm a faster Contender helm than him) Smith chauffeured by brother Adrian (oh no he's not) Smith
Finally letting go of some of the 50 sets of scorpion sails they've accumulated over a lifetime of scorpion sailing must be a mental lift to these buoys - they can focus on contenders later!
John (keeping my head down) Reay chauffeured by Rob (Mr Craftinsure) Cage
Race winners only two years ago in Looe there's still speed on the right days...
Andrea (Heavyweight) Fellows chauffeured by Catherine (week off of the kids yippee) Maguire
Llandudno 2019 in extreme wind and waves was a highlight for this lightweight team - looking for 3m swells and a force 6 isnt normal for sub 20stone teams but these folks make it look easy.
Alan (your author) Ritchie chauffeured by Janet (she's back) Ritchie
Looking to recapture that lucky race win 9 years ago - can lightning strike twice?
Whisper has it that there's some other rock stars tuning up in the Weymouth area who's names we can't mention at this stage - it won't be any current Olympians - they'll all be in France...
Stop press: The Legends Slot!
Yes I know Glastonbury get some old has-been to do a small set in front of 100000 people at 5 pm on a Sunday - we've our own Legends to admire and cheer for....
Legend 1 - PRO Simon Hawkes (stepping in as a last minute super sub for the absolute Rock Star PRO Bill Barker)
Legend 2 - Boat number 1880 - Shockwave - the Scorpion that re-wrote the rules back in the 1980s
Legend 3 - In Boat number 1880 the Legendary Secretary of the Scorpions Steve (I love the AGM) Walker - chauffeured by Mike (Legit Legend) Lennon
There's also notable legend mentions to our elite threesome Dave (Mr Nationals) Elston, Steve (I love the AGM) Walker (again) and Chris (Come to the Nationals or I'll keep on bugging you) Yates.
These folks are backed up and supported by a myriad of other Scorpion stars:
Carolynne (Trophy rounder upper) Hannabus, Debi (I'm busy with baby Bear) Forbes and plenty more besides to keep the action going all week.
Make sure their hands are never empty of ice cream or whatever takes their fancy.
Scorpion Foundation
In order to support and drive the fleet on, the Scorpion Foundation is now in full flow. This, with support from our headline sponsor TCL, is focused on supporting youth sailors with reduced entry fees, and even a vessel if needed, to help build the fleet going forward and give young sailors the opportunity to go sailing in a Scorp. It's a simple formula - we have many amazing boats desperate to go sailing - lets get them used and get the fleet buzzing.
We probably don't talk enough about what a beauty she is to sail, the Scorpion can be sailed in all weathers with a variety of crew weights and strengths - if it gets windy - just rake back and hike harder, ratchet blocks on jibs and spinnakers make even the heavy wind days manageable.
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Enter now
If any of this tickles your tackle there's bound to be a few last minute spots available - contact Steve (I love the AGM) Walker or visit www.sailscorpion.co.uk
Bargain price entry including two dinners, entertainment and sailing for £285, or as we continue to encourage youth, entry is only £150 if one U21 in the boat and £75 for a full youth entry!
Huge thanks to our sponsors TCL and Craftinsure.
So there we have it - fun, sailing (that's fun too right?) and other activities - have I mentioned the SHWAGS lunch / boat trips and activities?!
See you in Weymouth at the gybe mark. Or the bar.